What free tickets will induce

While my stunt double, Hal, has been in China this week introducing the unsuspecting Chinese to the delights of bagpipe music, we've been equally baffling back at HQ. After wading through stacks of bad legal jokes, we have now assigned those tickets to Saturday's Ozzie Jurock's Real Estate Outlook 2011 conference.  

The following selection is a sample of some that made it through, so you can imagine how bad the rest were. 

[ Ted ] Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros? A: The lawyer charges more.

[ Anita ] Humpty Dumpty... http://www.lawcomix.com/scribblepages.08/10.27.08.html

[ Victor ]  Signs That You Might Need A New Lawyer:
* During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy. 
* He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."
* Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
* The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."
* Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
* Every time the judge sustains one of his objections, he screams, "Yahtzee!"
* A prison guard is shaving your head.

Weasel words: copyrights for these jokes with the respective owners and thank you for sharing.

If you, too, would like to participate in trivial lawyer pursuits, This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Not only do you receive the odd invitation to submit jokes, you also get to download a wee coupon to help offset Ted's complaints!